Watch the video to learn more about this simple but powerful technique for breaking out of the Eden Loop. Then, practice it, and see what happens!

The other evening my wife said to me: “Why don’t you ever do the dishes? I feel like it’s always me that does them.”

Boy did this get me going. See, just that morning I was grumbling to myself “Man, it seems like I’ve become the household dishwasher here!” Feeling quite angry… but also self-righteous.

So, when my wife said that, I cut loose: “What!! I’m always doing them! I can’t believe you say that. I bet if we kept a record, we’d see that I have done them more often than you!”

Self-righteousness well established: She’s wrong, I’m right…. Why, anyone who could watch what was happening could tell you that.

But here’s the thing: the connection was lost. We ended up in a stuck place. I was right, but at the cost of what? Loss of love and connection… and trust.

This is an example of what Richard Rudd (and others) call “the Eden Loop”. It’s a reactive pattern that we can all relate to.

To break out of the Eden Loop requires that one of us has to give up Being Right. One of us has to be willing to exchange being Right for re-establishing connection.

The move that makes this happen is called a Conversational Redirect. It effectively redirects the pattern toward something more connecting, more open, more loving (even when you just know you’re “right”!).

When one person can break the loop, miraculous things can happen.